Band 9 model answer
The relationship between wealth and well-being has long divided opinion, with some insisting that financial security underpins contentment and others maintaining that fulfilment springs from non-material sources. In my view, although money removes hardship, lasting happiness ultimately rests on relationships and purpose.
Those who equate money with happiness make a compelling practical case. A comfortable income guarantees decent housing, nourishing food and reliable access to healthcare, thereby eliminating the gnawing anxiety that poverty inevitably breeds. Furthermore, disposable wealth funds travel, education and leisure, all of which broaden horizons and enrich daily experience in tangible ways. It is undeniable that constant worry about unpaid bills can poison even the warmest household, so a reasonable measure of prosperity is surely a sensible precondition for genuine peace of mind.
Nevertheless, the opposing view rightly observes that affluence has diminishing returns. Once basic needs are comfortably met, additional income rarely deepens satisfaction; indeed, the relentless pursuit of riches can erode the very things that sustain us, such as friendship, health and time. The loneliness frequently reported among the wealthy demonstrates that emotional connection cannot be purchased, and a sense of meaning derived from family or vocation proves far more durable than any luxury.
Weighing these arguments, I am convinced that money is a foundation rather than a summit. It buys the absence of misery but not the presence of joy, which grows instead from love, achievement and belonging. Societies would therefore be wiser to prize community and fulfilling work alongside economic prosperity. In conclusion, while financial means undoubtedly smooth life's path, genuine and enduring happiness is rooted in human bonds and purpose that no fortune can guarantee.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the introduction states a clear, nuanced position ('a foundation rather than a summit') that is sustained and resolved in the conclusion, fully addressing both views.
- Coherence and cohesion: discourse markers such as 'Furthermore', 'Nevertheless' and 'Weighing these arguments' signpost each stage without mechanical repetition.
- Lexical resource: precise collocations like 'diminishing returns', 'disposable wealth' and 'erode the very things that sustain us' show natural, flexible vocabulary control.