Band 9 model answer
Who should bear the burden of supporting society's poorest members remains a contested question. Some maintain that charity and private generosity are the proper response, whereas others argue that government welfare must lead. In my view, while charity performs a valuable supplementary role, the state should carry the primary responsibility.
Proponents of charitable giving advance several genuine merits. Voluntary donations are often more efficient and more compassionate than rigid bureaucratic programmes, as charities can respond swiftly and tailor their help to specific local needs. Such giving also nurtures a wider culture of empathy, actively encouraging citizens to engage directly with hardship rather than delegating it impersonally to a distant state. For its champions, this approach fosters community spirit and personal moral responsibility in a way that compulsory taxation never could.
However, those who favour state welfare expose the limits of charity. Donations are unpredictable and tend to dwindle precisely when recessions throw the most people into need, leaving aid dependent on the whims of the generous. Charity also reaches only those causes that happen to attract attention, whereas a government, funded by taxation and obligated to all citizens, can guarantee a consistent and comprehensive safety net of healthcare, housing and income support.
Weighing up these competing arguments, I am firmly convinced that protecting the most vulnerable is far too important to rest on fluctuating goodwill alone. The state, with its unrivalled scale and financial stability, must ensure a dependable foundation, while charities usefully complement it by addressing the inevitable gaps that official bureaucracy tends to overlook. In conclusion, although individual generosity is admirable and indeed necessary, only properly funded government welfare can offer the reliable, universal protection that a genuinely just society demands of its members.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: both views are explored in balanced paragraphs and the writer's opinion (state primary, charity supplementary) is stated early and sustained without contradiction.
- Coherence and cohesion: the pivot 'However, those who favour state welfare expose the limits of charity' cleanly turns the argument, and ideas are sequenced logically.
- Lexical resource: discriminating vocabulary such as 'supplementary', 'dwindle' and 'a dependable foundation' conveys subtle distinctions accurately.