Band 9 model answer
As screens come to dominate every waking hour, a growing number of people are deliberately switching off through periodic 'digital detoxes'. Although abstaining from technology carries certain drawbacks, I am convinced that its benefits comfortably outweigh them.
The principal advantage of unplugging is the restoration of mental clarity and calm. Constant notifications fragment our attention and keep the brain in a state of low-level alarm, so stepping away allows concentration and tranquillity to return. A detox also liberates time that can be reinvested in face-to-face relationships, exercise or hobbies, all of which nourish well-being far more deeply than passive scrolling. Many who undertake such breaks report sleeping better and feeling markedly less anxious.
The drawbacks, by contrast, are real but comparatively minor. Disconnecting may cause people to miss urgent messages or professional opportunities, and in an interconnected world this can occasionally prove inconvenient. Some also feel an uncomfortable restlessness when first deprived of their devices, a discomfort that itself reveals how dependent we have become. These costs, however, are temporary and easily managed by choosing appropriate moments to disconnect.
Weighing the two sides, the case for regular detoxing seems compelling. The inconveniences are fleeting and avoidable, whereas the gains in mental health, relationships and self-awareness are substantial and lasting. A short, planned break need not isolate anyone permanently; it simply restores a healthier relationship with technology. For these reasons, I firmly believe that the advantages of a digital detox decisively exceed its disadvantages, making the practice well worth adopting.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the 'outweigh' question receives an explicit verdict ('comfortably outweigh') in the introduction and a quantified conclusion, with both advantages and disadvantages weighed before judgement.
- Cohesion: comparative cohesion is skilfully managed through 'by contrast', 'Weighing the two sides' and 'whereas', making the evaluative structure transparent.
- Grammatical Range: a mix of advanced forms appears, including the fronted adverbial 'As screens come to dominate' and the relative clause 'a discomfort that itself reveals', supporting a Band 9 award.