Band 9 model answer
Once dismissed as a private sorrow, loneliness is now treated by many experts as a genuine threat to population health. I strongly agree that it deserves to be regarded as a public-health problem, given its measurable physical harm and its widening reach.
The first reason for this view is the striking evidence linking isolation to disease. Research consistently shows that chronically lonely people suffer higher rates of heart disease, weakened immunity and cognitive decline, with some studies equating its mortality risk to that of heavy smoking. Because these effects burden hospitals and shorten lives on a large scale, loneliness clearly produces the kind of collective harm that justifies public intervention rather than being a matter purely for the individual.
A second reason is that its causes are largely social rather than personal. The decline of close-knit communities, the dispersal of families across cities and countries, and the substitution of screen contact for face-to-face interaction have left growing numbers without meaningful connection. Since these are structural shifts affecting whole societies, the responsibility for addressing them cannot rest on isolated individuals alone; it requires coordinated responses such as community centres, befriending schemes and urban design that encourages contact.
In conclusion, because loneliness inflicts quantifiable physical damage and springs from society-wide changes, classifying it as a public-health concern is entirely justified. Governments and communities should treat it with the same seriousness as any other widespread illness, investing in the social bonds that keep people well.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: a firm 'strongly agree' position is stated and defended with two distinct, fully extended reasons.
- Coherence: each body paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence ('The first reason', 'A second reason'), giving transparent paragraph architecture.
- Lexical Resource: nuanced phrasing such as 'quantifiable physical damage' and 'close-knit communities' shows control of less common collocations.