Band 9 model answer
Even where legislation explicitly forbids it, the unfair treatment of employees on grounds of gender, ethnicity, or age stubbornly persists across countless workplaces around the world. This essay examines why such bias endures despite legal protection and proposes a number of practical steps that could meaningfully curb it.
The principal cause lies in unconscious assumptions that operate beneath formal rules. Managers frequently favour candidates who resemble themselves, mistaking familiarity for competence, while long-standing stereotypes lead them to underestimate certain groups before any work is assessed. A secondary factor is the gap between law and culture: regulations may prohibit overt prejudice, yet they cannot easily reach the informal comments, exclusionary networks, and promotion decisions made behind closed doors. Where accountability is weak, discriminatory habits quietly reproduce themselves.
Addressing the problem therefore demands intervention at both the individual and institutional level. Structured recruitment, in which applications are anonymised and assessed against fixed criteria, strips away much of the room for bias to operate. Equally important is transparent data: when firms are required to publish pay and promotion figures broken down by group, hidden imbalances become visible and embarrassing, creating pressure to reform. Training that confronts unconscious bias can also help, provided it is reinforced rather than treated as a one-off formality.
In conclusion, workplace discrimination survives largely because deep-seated attitudes and informal habits outlast the statutes meant to govern them. The most effective remedies, therefore, are those that reduce subjective judgement and ruthlessly expose unfair patterns to public scrutiny. Laws alone are plainly insufficient on their own; only when fairness is deliberately built into everyday procedures and then rigorously monitored over time will genuine equality of treatment finally be achieved.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: both parts of the prompt are answered fully and in proportion, with causes and measures each receiving a dedicated, well-developed paragraph and a synthesising conclusion.
- Cohesion: the writer signposts the structure cleanly ('The principal cause', 'A secondary factor', 'Equally important') so the reader never loses the thread of the argument.
- Lexical resource: topic-specific phrasing such as 'unconscious assumptions', 'exclusionary networks', and 'anonymised' demonstrates precise, professional vocabulary suited to the subject.