Band 9 model answer
As education systems chase ever-higher test scores, art and music are increasingly treated as expendable. I strongly disagree with this trend, because the creative subjects develop capacities that no examination in mathematics or science can replace.
The rationale behind the cuts is understandable. Governments are judged by international rankings in literacy and numeracy, and time spent painting or playing an instrument can seem to contribute little to those measurable outcomes. Faced with limited hours and tight budgets, administrators naturally prioritise the subjects most likely to secure good results and employment for school-leavers.
This logic, however, rests on an unduly narrow definition of what schools exist to achieve. Creative disciplines cultivate imagination, discipline and emotional expression, qualities that underpin innovation across every field, including the sciences. A child who learns to compose a melody or interpret a painting also learns to think laterally, persevere through frustration and communicate ideas that words alone cannot convey. Stripping these subjects away therefore produces narrowly trained pupils rather than genuinely educated ones.
Furthermore, the arts perform a vital social and personal function that academic study rarely matches. For many children, the music room or the art studio is where confidence is built and a sense of belonging is found, particularly for those who struggle with conventional lessons. To deny them this outlet in pursuit of marginally higher grades is short-sighted. In conclusion, while I recognise the pressures driving schools towards a leaner curriculum, sacrificing art and music is a serious mistake. A balanced education must nurture the whole person, not merely the examinable portion of the mind.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: a clear, unwavering stance ('I strongly disagree') is stated immediately and supported throughout, while the opposing rationale is fairly acknowledged before being rebutted, satisfying the agree/disagree task fully.
- Coherence and Cohesion: logical progression from rationale, to rebuttal, to a second supporting reason is marked by 'however', 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', producing a tightly organised argument.
- Lexical Resource: collocations such as 'measurable outcomes', 'think laterally' and 'narrowly trained pupils' and the contrast 'genuinely educated ones' demonstrate a wide, well-managed vocabulary.