Band 9 model answer
In several societies, it is common for adolescents to earn money through part-time employment while still at school. Although such work carries clear risks, I believe its benefits are greater, provided the hours remain modest.
The disadvantages chiefly concern education and wellbeing. A teenager juggling shifts and homework may arrive at lessons exhausted, with little energy left for study or sleep. If working hours grow excessive, grades inevitably suffer, and the long-term cost of weaker qualifications can dwarf any short-term earnings. There is also the danger that some young workers come to prioritise immediate income over the harder, slower rewards of education, jeopardising their future prospects.
Despite these concerns, the advantages are substantial. Part-time work teaches lessons that classrooms rarely can: punctuality, teamwork, and the discipline of answering to an employer. Handling a wage gives teenagers a realistic appreciation of how hard money is to earn, encouraging thrift and responsibility. Moreover, early exposure to the workplace builds confidence and practical experience that strengthen a young person's eventual job applications. For those from poorer families, modest earnings can also relieve financial strain and foster a welcome sense of independence.
Weighing these factors, I am convinced the advantages prevail so long as employment is kept within sensible limits. A few hours each week need not damage academic performance, while the maturity, work ethic, and money-management skills gained are invaluable. The key lies in moderation: if parents and schools ensure that studies remain the priority, part-time jobs become a constructive complement to education rather than a threat to it, equipping teenagers for the responsibilities of adult life.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the 'advantages outweigh disadvantages' question is answered with a clear, qualified verdict ('advantages prevail so long as employment is kept within sensible limits').
- Coherence and Cohesion: balanced structure with 'Despite these concerns' and 'Weighing these factors' guides the reader from drawbacks to benefits to judgement.
- Lexical Resource: well-chosen collocations such as 'jeopardising their future prospects', 'work ethic' and 'foster a welcome sense of independence' show lexical precision.