Band 9 model answer
The degree of freedom appropriate for children is a question that divides parents and educators alike. Some champion early independence as essential for growth, whereas others fear that too little supervision exposes the young to harm. In my view, freedom should expand gradually in step with a child's maturity.
Those who advocate independence argue that children learn best by doing. When youngsters are permitted to walk to school, manage their own time, or resolve disputes unaided, they develop confidence, problem-solving skills, and a sense of responsibility. Overprotected children, by contrast, may grow timid and reliant, struggling to cope with adult life because they were never allowed to make mistakes. Autonomy, on this view, is a vital rehearsal for the wider world.
Proponents of close supervision counter that children lack the judgement to assess risk. Unmonitored access to the internet, unfamiliar places, or older companions can expose them to genuine dangers, from accidents to harmful influences. Supervision, they contend, is not about control for its own sake but about protecting vulnerable individuals until they are equipped to protect themselves. A watchful parent, after all, can intervene before a small mistake becomes a serious one.
My own position reconciles these perspectives through the principle of graduated freedom. Very young children plainly require constant oversight, but as they demonstrate good judgement, parents should progressively loosen the reins, granting privileges that match proven responsibility. This approach equips children with independence while keeping a safety net beneath them. Freedom and supervision are therefore not opposites but partners, and the art of parenting lies in adjusting their balance as a child grows.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: both views are explored evenhandedly and the writer's opinion ('freedom should expand gradually') is clear, original and consistently maintained.
- Coherence and Cohesion: the metaphor 'loosen the reins' and connective 'by contrast' enrich cohesion while the final paragraph synthesises rather than repeats.
- Lexical Resource: nuanced choices including 'autonomy', 'graduated freedom' and 'safety net' show flexible, idiomatic command of English.