Band 9 model answer
Whether children flourish through fierce competition or through cooperative play is a question that divides parents and educators alike. Both forms of activity clearly offer distinct benefits, yet I believe a balanced upbringing that leans gently towards cooperation ultimately serves children best.
Those who advocate competitive sport argue that it usefully prepares the young for the harsh realities of adult life. Winning and losing teach resilience, the value of sustained effort and the discipline of regular practice, while striving against determined rivals can sharpen ambition and reveal previously hidden talent. A child who learns to accept defeat gracefully on the pitch may well handle professional setbacks far more maturely later in life.
Conversely, supporters of non-competitive activities warn that relentless rivalry can be deeply corrosive. Constant pressure to win may breed chronic anxiety, damage fragile self-esteem and discourage less gifted children from participating at all. Cooperative pursuits such as group hiking, dance or collaborative games instead emphasise inclusion and personal progress over rank, allowing every child to feel valued regardless of their natural ability. These activities arguably nurture empathy and teamwork far more effectively than any scoreboard ever could.
In my view, the two approaches need not be mutually exclusive at all, and the ideal childhood thoughtfully blends them. Gentle competition can certainly motivate, but it should never become an end in itself or a recurring source of shame. For younger children especially, the emphasis ought to fall on enjoyment, participation and mutual support, with competition introduced only gradually as resilience develops. Striking this delicate balance equips children with both the toughness and the compassion they will surely need throughout their lives.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the response evaluates both views thoroughly and offers a clearly reasoned middle position ('leans gently towards cooperation'), avoiding a vague fence-sitting answer.
- Cohesion: contrastive links 'Conversely' and 'need not be mutually exclusive' manage the shift between viewpoints, and pronoun reference ('These activities') keeps ideas connected.
- Lexical resource: nuanced choices such as 'relentless rivalry can be corrosive', 'fragile self-esteem' and 'an end in itself' display precise, mature phrasing.