Band 9 model answer
It is often argued that elite athletes are grossly overpaid when compared with nurses or teachers who perform indispensable work for society. While I acknowledge the moral discomfort that this striking gap provokes, I largely disagree that the salaries themselves are unjustified, because they reflect market forces rather than any objective measure of social worth.
The most compelling defence of these earnings is fundamentally economic. Top athletes generate immense revenue through broadcasting deals, sponsorship and ticket sales, and their pay is simply a negotiated share of the enormous wealth they personally create. A footballer who fills stadiums week after week and sells millions in merchandise is, in narrow commercial terms, worth every penny to the club that employs him. Furthermore, sporting careers are notoriously brief and precarious; a single injury can terminate a livelihood overnight, so handsome pay reasonably compensates for genuine financial risk.
Nonetheless, the comparison with essential workers does expose a troubling moral inconsistency. Society simply could not function without educators and medical staff, yet the market rewards fleeting entertainment far more lavishly than indispensable care. This disparity reflects how we collectively allocate value, and it arguably distorts the aspirations of impressionable young people who idolise wealthy stars. The remedy, however, lies not in arbitrarily capping athletes' wages but in funding our public services far more generously.
In conclusion, although the chasm between athletes' pay and that of vital professionals remains uncomfortable, I believe these salaries are largely justified as a natural product of supply, demand and personal risk. Our real grievance should be directed at how poorly we remunerate those who sustain our schools and hospitals, rather than at sportspeople who merely capitalise on the revenue they generate.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the position is clear and sustained, conceding the moral objection ('troubling moral inconsistency') while still defending the salaries, which shows the nuanced stance a Band 9 stance demands.
- Cohesion: discourse markers such as 'The most compelling defence', 'Furthermore' and 'Nonetheless' signpost the argument without becoming mechanical, and reference chains ('these earnings', 'this disparity') bind ideas.
- Lexical resource: precise collocations like 'broadcasting deals', 'notoriously brief and precarious' and 'capitalise on the revenue' demonstrate flexible, topic-specific vocabulary.