Band 9 model answer
In a growing share of households, mothers and fathers alike now pursue demanding full-time careers. Although some observers fear that this inevitably leaves children neglected, I am persuaded that, with adequate childcare in place, the advantages of both parents working clearly outweigh the potential drawbacks.
The benefits are considerable, beginning with the family's finances. A reliable second income lifts living standards, enabling parents to afford better housing, nutrition and educational opportunities for their children than a single salary ever could. Beyond money, working parents act as powerful role models of ambition and discipline, and a professionally fulfilled mother or father is often a more patient and positive presence once they return home. Children also gain valuable independence and social skills when they spend part of the day in nurseries or among peers rather than constantly under a parent's watchful eye.
The principal disadvantage is the reduction in time spent together, which critics fear may weaken emotional bonds within the family. This concern is not entirely baseless, yet it is frequently overstated. Research consistently indicates that the quality of parent-child interaction matters considerably more than its sheer quantity; a single hour of focused, affectionate attention can easily outweigh a whole day of distracted, half-hearted presence. Provided that dependable childcare fills the gaps, the children of working parents generally thrive rather than suffer.
In conclusion, while two working parents inevitably have somewhat less time at home, the financial security, role-modelling and social development that result more than adequately compensate. The crucial condition is dependable, good-quality care during working hours. On balance, therefore, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages, and the old assumption that children always need a permanently present parent richly deserves to be retired.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the position is stated conditionally ('with adequate childcare') and sustained, with advantages and the key disadvantage both addressed, precisely answering the outweigh question.
- Coherence & Cohesion: the rebuttal is handled elegantly ('This concern is not baseless, yet it is frequently overstated'), and the conclusion restates the condition rather than merely repeating the claim.
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy: the writer uses comparatives, conditionals ('Provided dependable childcare fills the gaps') and a passive infinitive ('deserves to be retired') with full accuracy.