Band 9 model answer
Few questions about adolescence provoke more debate than whether family or peers shape young people more profoundly. Both camps marshal genuinely persuasive arguments, but I ultimately believe that the family exerts the deeper and more enduring influence, even as friends come to dominate certain phases of growing up.
Those who champion the role of friends point to the sheer intensity of peer relationships during the teenage years. Adolescents often look to their contemporaries to define what is fashionable, acceptable or desirable, and the powerful desire to fit in can easily override parental guidance on matters of dress, language and leisure. Peer pressure, whether constructive or harmful, is such a potent force precisely because young people crave the approval of those their own age and fear exclusion above almost everything else.
The case for family, however, runs considerably deeper. Long before any friendships form, parents instil the core values, the moral compass and the sense of identity that frame how a child interprets the wider world. These foundations rarely vanish entirely; even rebellious teenagers tend to revert to inherited beliefs about honesty, ambition and family loyalty once their youthful experimentation fades. Friends may sway day-to-day choices, but it is ultimately the family that shapes the underlying character making those very choices.
In conclusion, although friends undeniably hold great sway over a young person's tastes and immediate behaviour, I regard family as the more decisive influence on long-term development. Peer influence tends to be intense yet transient, whereas the values absorbed at home form a lasting framework. The wisest view, perhaps, acknowledges that the two simply operate on different timescales rather than standing in any simple opposition.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: each view receives a balanced, fully developed paragraph, and the writer's opinion (family is more decisive long-term) is clearly stated and consistently maintained.
- Coherence & Cohesion: the contrast 'The case for family, however, runs deeper' and the resolving idea 'different timescales rather than in simple opposition' give the essay a coherent, reflective arc.
- Lexical Resource: nuanced lexis such as 'moral compass', 'peer pressure', 'youthful experimentation' and 'transient' demonstrates precision and range.