Band 9 model answer
What matters most to human happiness, wealth or warm relationships, is a question as old as society itself. While money undeniably plays a part, I am firmly persuaded that strong personal relationships are the more decisive ingredient of a contented life.
The case for money's primacy is not without merit. Financial resources provide security, shelter and access to healthcare, removing the desperate anxieties that accompany poverty. Wealth also opens doors to enriching experiences, from travel to education, that can broaden the mind and deepen one's enjoyment of life. For those struggling to meet basic needs, it is difficult to deny that an increase in income would bring a tangible rise in happiness and peace of mind.
The argument for relationships, however, strikes me as ultimately weightier. Once a person's essential needs are met, additional wealth yields steadily diminishing returns, whereas the comfort of loving family and loyal friends never loses its value. Relationships supply the emotional nourishment, belonging and support that money simply cannot purchase, and their absence leaves even the affluent feeling profoundly impoverished within.
In my opinion, the wisest course is to recognise money as a means rather than an end. It is a useful instrument for securing comfort, but it becomes hollow when pursued at the expense of human connection. Given the choice, I would unhesitatingly prioritise rich relationships over a swollen bank account, convinced that the warmth of genuine companionship offers a happiness that wealth, for all its power, can never replicate.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: both views are discussed substantively and a clear personal opinion ('relationships are the more decisive ingredient') is stated upfront and upheld through to the conclusion.
- Coherence: the contrast pivots smoothly on 'The argument for relationships, however' and concludes with the framing of money as 'a means rather than an end', lending the essay strong logical unity.
- Lexical Resource: sophisticated economic and emotional lexis such as 'diminishing returns', 'emotional nourishment' and 'profoundly impoverished within' reflects the lexical depth of Band 9.