Band 9 model answer
It is frequently claimed that the adolescents of today shoulder burdens that their parents never knew. While every generation faces its own trials, I largely agree that contemporary teenagers confront a uniquely demanding combination of academic, social and digital pressures.
The most obvious source of strain is the intensifying competition for academic success. As university places and graduate jobs become scarcer, students are pushed to accumulate ever higher grades and impressive extracurricular records, often sacrificing sleep and leisure in the process. Examination systems in many countries now begin earlier and weigh more heavily, leaving little room for the carefree experimentation that once characterised youth.
Layered on top of this is the relentless presence of social media, a pressure genuinely without precedent. Earlier generations could leave school difficulties behind at the front door, whereas today bullying, comparison and the demand to project a flawless image follow teenagers into their bedrooms around the clock. The resulting anxiety is reflected in rising rates of mental ill health among the young, a phenomenon experts increasingly link to constant online exposure.
That said, it would be unfair to suggest that earlier generations led untroubled lives, having faced war, poverty and limited opportunity. The crucial difference is that modern pressures are more psychological, pervasive and difficult to escape. In conclusion, while hardship is hardly new, I agree that the specific blend of academic competition and inescapable digital scrutiny makes the lives of today's teenagers exceptionally stressful, and society should respond with greater understanding and support.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the essay states a measured degree of agreement ('I largely agree') and justifies it, while fairly conceding the opposing point ('it would be unfair to suggest that earlier generations led untroubled lives').
- Cohesion and Coherence: ideas are layered logically with phrases like 'Layered on top of this' and 'That said', producing smooth progression and a clear hierarchy of arguments.
- Lexical Resource: emotive yet precise vocabulary ('relentless presence', 'inescapable digital scrutiny', 'pervasive') captures nuance and avoids repetition across the essay.