Band 9 model answer
It is sometimes proposed that every young person should complete a mandatory period of unpaid work for the benefit of society. While I acknowledge the social value of such schemes, I firmly believe that compulsion undermines their purpose, and that voluntary participation is preferable.
Those who favour obligatory service argue that it instils discipline and civic responsibility. By assisting in hospitals, care homes or environmental projects, young people gain exposure to lives very different from their own, which can foster empathy and practical skills. Communities, meanwhile, benefit from an injection of energetic labour that strained public budgets could not otherwise afford. These advantages are genuine and should not be dismissed.
Nevertheless, the central flaw of the proposal is the word 'required'. Service performed grudgingly under threat of penalty rarely cultivates the generosity it claims to promote; instead it breeds resentment and is often carried out half-heartedly. Forcing teenagers into unpaid roles also raises questions of fairness, since the same hours could conflict with study or part-time employment that poorer students genuinely need. Genuine altruism, by definition, cannot be coerced.
A wiser approach is to make volunteering attractive rather than compulsory. Schools could offer recognition, references or modest incentives, and could showcase inspiring projects so that participation feels like an opportunity rather than a sentence. In conclusion, although community service yields real benefits for both volunteers and society, I disagree that it should be mandatory. Encouraging young people to serve willingly produces far more committed and lasting engagement than any legal requirement ever could.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the response takes a clear, qualified position ('I firmly believe that compulsion undermines their purpose') and sustains it, acknowledging counter-arguments before refuting them rather than ignoring them.
- Coherence: the concessive opening of paragraph three ('Nevertheless, the central flaw') pivots the argument smoothly, signalling the shift from benefits to objections with precision.
- Lexical Resource: sophisticated phrasing such as 'instils discipline and civic responsibility', 'breeds resentment' and 'genuine altruism cannot be coerced' shows controlled, idiomatic word choice.