Band 9 model answer
As people flood into cities faster than infrastructure can expand, overcrowding has emerged as one of the defining urban afflictions of our age. This essay first examines the problems it generates and then proposes how they might be alleviated.
The consequences of overcrowding are far-reaching. The most visible is the strain on infrastructure: roads choke with traffic, trains run beyond capacity and hospitals and schools are stretched to breaking point. Less obvious but equally damaging are the social and environmental effects. Fierce competition for scarce housing inflates rents and breeds inequality, while the concentration of vehicles and waste worsens air quality and public health. Over time, the daily frustration of jostling crowds can erode the patience and goodwill on which urban life depends.
Fortunately, several measures can ease the pressure. The most direct is to invest heavily in mass transit, since efficient metros and buses move far more people in less space than private cars. Equally, governments can decongest the core by developing satellite towns and relocating offices to the periphery, spreading activity outward instead of cramming it into one centre. Promoting remote work would further thin out commuter flows, lightening the load on transport at peak hours.
In conclusion, overcrowding overwhelms infrastructure and sharpens inequality, yet it is far from insurmountable. Through better public transport, decentralised development and flexible working, cities can accommodate growing populations while remaining places where people genuinely want to live.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the two-part task is fully addressed, with problems grouped into infrastructural and social-environmental categories and each solution clearly tied back to a stated problem.
- Coherence and Cohesion: signposting such as 'The most visible is…', 'Less obvious but equally damaging' and 'The most direct is…' orders the ideas transparently for the reader.
- Lexical Resource: strong, varied lexis including 'urban afflictions', 'stretched to breaking point' and 'decongest the core' shows precision and natural collocation.