Band 9 model answer
For centuries, performing animals have drawn crowds to circuses, racetracks and arenas, yet attitudes towards such spectacles are shifting rapidly. I broadly agree that using animals for entertainment should be forbidden, though I would reserve narrow exceptions where genuine welfare is assured.
The strongest argument for prohibition concerns animal suffering. Training a tiger to leap through flaming hoops or pushing a racehorse beyond its limits often involves coercion, confinement and physical risk that the animal cannot consent to. Behind the glamour of the performance frequently lies a routine of restrictive cages and harsh discipline. Since these creatures endure real distress purely so that humans may be amused, the practice is difficult to defend on ethical grounds.
A further consideration is the message such entertainment conveys. When children watch animals reduced to props for human enjoyment, they absorb the assumption that other species exist merely to serve our pleasure. Forbidding these shows would help foster a more respectful relationship with the natural world, replacing exploitation with appreciation. Modern alternatives, from wildlife documentaries to virtual experiences, can deliver wonder without imposing cruelty.
Nevertheless, a blanket ban demands a degree of nuance. Certain activities, such as well-regulated equestrian sports where animals are demonstrably well cared for, may not involve meaningful suffering. The decisive criterion should be welfare rather than tradition. On balance, then, I support outlawing any form of entertainment that subjects animals to cruelty or stress, while permitting the rare cases in which their wellbeing is genuinely protected.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: the prompt is answered with a clear degree of agreement ('broadly agree... though I would reserve narrow exceptions'), maintained and refined to the end.
- Coherence and Cohesion: ideas progress smoothly from suffering, to social attitudes, to a qualifying counterpoint, linked by markers like 'A further consideration' and 'Nevertheless'.
- Lexical Resource: expressive collocations such as 'reduced to props', 'restrictive cages' and 'a more respectful relationship with the natural world' add precision and tone.