Band 9 model answer
How young people should divide their attention between foreign cultures and their own heritage is a question of growing importance in an interconnected age. Both priorities have merit, but I ultimately believe that a firm grounding in one's own culture and an openness to others are complementary rather than competing aims.
Advocates of studying foreign cultures stress the demands of a globalised world. Familiarity with different customs, histories and values cultivates empathy, reduces prejudice and equips young people to collaborate across borders in increasingly multinational workplaces. A graduate who understands the etiquette and outlook of other societies enjoys a clear advantage in diplomacy, commerce and travel, and is less likely to give offence through ignorance.
Those who prioritise one's own culture, however, raise an equally valid point. Without a secure sense of identity, individuals can feel adrift, and a society that neglects its own heritage risks losing the languages, arts and values that bind it together. Knowing where one comes from also provides a confident vantage point from which to appreciate others, since people who are comfortable in their own traditions tend to engage with foreign ones from curiosity rather than insecurity.
In my view, the two pursuits reinforce one another and need not be ranked. A balanced education should root young people firmly in their own culture while steadily widening their horizons outward. In conclusion, rather than choosing between self-knowledge and global awareness, the wisest course is to cultivate both, producing individuals who are both grounded and genuinely open-minded.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: both views are given full, even-handed treatment, and the opinion ('complementary rather than competing') is distinctive and consistently developed across the essay.
- Coherence and Cohesion: the discussion is framed with parallel openers ('Advocates of studying foreign cultures' / 'Those who prioritise one's own culture'), and the resolution 'reinforce one another' ties the threads together.
- Lexical Resource: precise abstract nouns such as 'empathy', 'etiquette' and 'vantage point' combine with the controlled idiom 'feel adrift' for natural sophistication.