Band 9 model answer
As awareness of mental health has grown, a debate has emerged over whether supporting employee wellbeing falls within an employer's remit or beyond it. Both positions have merit, yet I lean firmly towards the view that workplaces bear a genuine responsibility for the welfare of their staff.
Those who resist the idea make a coherent case. They argue that a company's proper concern is the work itself, not the private emotional lives of its employees, which depend on countless factors outside any office. From this standpoint, well-meaning wellbeing schemes risk becoming intrusive or tokenistic, and the money might be better returned to staff as higher pay, leaving them free to seek the support they prefer.
The opposing view, however, strikes me as more persuasive. Because the workplace is itself a major source of stress through long hours, insecurity and pressure, employers cannot reasonably disclaim all responsibility for the strain they help to create. Practical support such as counselling, manageable workloads and a culture in which staff can speak openly does not merely ease suffering; it also reduces absenteeism and sharpens performance, aligning compassion with self-interest.
Weighing the two arguments, I conclude that employers should indeed invest in wellbeing, provided they do so sincerely rather than as a public-relations exercise. The decisive point is that healthy, supported employees are both happier and more productive, so the duty of care and the bottom line point in the same direction. Far from being an optional perk, meaningful mental-health provision is fast becoming a basic expectation of a responsible workplace.
Examiner’s notes
- Task Response: both sides are explored fairly before a clearly weighted opinion ('I lean firmly towards'), and the closing condition about sincerity adds the qualification typical of top-band answers.
- Coherence and Cohesion: viewpoints are cleanly separated and contrasted with 'The opposing view, however', while 'The decisive point is that' foregrounds the core of the writer's reasoning.
- Lexical Resource: precise abstractions such as 'remit', 'tokenistic', 'disclaim all responsibility' and 'duty of care' demonstrate the lexical control expected at Band 9.